FUCK YOU!
and everything you stand for.
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i want to just be fucking ok, is that alright?
im not sure what it is i need to get there, but im fucking sick of feeling like shit for no other reason then im not happy with my life. i need something or some one. im sick of all this mindless bullshit that i subject myself to from people that i cant stand. I hate that ive fallen into a few new traits that i dont want anymore. and im going to start as of today to stop them. Im just done with my shit and my bitching about nothing other then to bitch about something. im fucking lost and in a rut that ive dug deeper and deeper over the last year. im sick of these fucking emotions that tear at my insides to the point that i cant move. im not dreaming again, i was to the point in life where i was good, i was happy, i was fucking great. i was able to wake up and feel good about doing so, i went through the day and my head didnt need to be held high it was just there.
i want to just be happy, and im sick of trying to find how to get there. I think that this spring break is going to be one of the best things for me, im going to be flying out of state on my own for about a week, granite ill be with my uncle and aunt but for the most part i think i will be on my own. i think in that week ill lean more about myself then i have in a very long time.
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Thanks to the three or four of you that have put up with my mind and have been here and have really shown me that people are still worth putting some emotional ties into. im sorry tht ive been so shitty the last few weeks and ive let myself slip a lot mre then id like to admit, but i know i cant hide it from everyone, and have everyone believe that im such a happy person.
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i need something to happen. i need to make something happen. i just need to figure things out.
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