I feel a thanks is in order.

Thank you for today everyone.
I cant begin to explain how appreciative of all of you that i really am.
Ive had many a talks this week, and well the last few weeks, but this week it seems that it was every night there was a good talk that occurred. There are a lot of things that have been said over the last few weeks that i will remember this point in my life, more then many others i do so believe. So here's to you, my friends, my family and my acquaintances.

Im eating dove chocolate and this wrapper i just opened says "Open your eyes to the love around you" and i dont think that there could be better timing. I see love all around me, in the eyes of others, the words to my ears, and the warmth of my heart.

Thanks be to you, my friends.

OK part 2

aafter i typed that, things in my day have gone much better.
im not sure why, but all of a sudden everything in chemestry made sense and it didnt yesterday, idk what happend there.
but i get it now and it felt so good.
then play practice went better then yesterday and im not as stressd about it. i think that over all everything is going very well.


but i think that and underlying thing in the last one that i did see till i just re read itm is this.

I feel that people need to stop talking about doing things and just do them. I need to not think out my life, i need to just live it. people dont need to plan there day to day, they just need to live it. you dont knowwhen youll die, or how. so why not lic=ve every moment you have.

i really just want to tell people to just go live. to just act upon their notions. take risks, do something with your life

ok
thats all for now
better mood now :]

fin

Ok

Im done now.
im done .
im deflated
im broken
im hallow
im falling
im flailing
im dieing
im trying to crawl
but my arms cant hold up
my head wont stay up and my eyes wont stop burning.
im haveing trouble breathing
im never sleeping
my mind is against me
im finding this to be true
i hate the lack of applying myself
im sick of this feeling i cant get out of.
i want the next year to just be done, and this year has yet to begin.
this is the easy shit kids.
just you wait, itll be over soon enough, times will get worse
we will all crawl
we will all cry
and in the end we all die
what we do betwen this points, thats what matters right?
or is it these things that make us
i mean some of the greatest artist and composers of time were all even more famous after death.
but what is fame
does it stop you from hurt?
doest it stop you from dieing?
does it mean shit?
maybe there is an after life, or you get to come back to earth till you are enlightened...
but if that is true, if you are just going somewhere else or you are just coming back
then whats the point of this prolonging of life?
if we all died between 20 and 40, would we care so much about planning things out, having our whole lives mapped out?
i mean in 1000 years from now, are we going to have people living for a couple hundred years? will this stress still be here? or will it b even more to have your whole life planed out.

i say, fuck it
fuck all of it
this stress fuck it
this emtiness, fuck it
your opinion, fuck it
my opinion fuck it
whats the point anyway.

none of this means anything.
its just 0's and 1's
patters
all life is one pattern
following the pattern is all up to you.
this feeling i have, its all fucking pattern
thats all i hear, oh its ok this is natural for you to have these feeling, its just your teenage hormones
just one more pattern
extending life, is continuing the pattern.
living in the way our parents did
its a pattern
we go to sleep we wake up
patern
we eat we shit
patern
we live
we die
its a fucking pattern


well it would seem there is a pattern i can find right now in my life.
its shitshitshitshitsmallmomentofhappyshitshitshitshithappyshitshitshitfalsehappyshitshitshit
great pattern right.
its fanfuckingtastic

this is just flowing nonsense.
and im sorry for your eyes have reading it.

all i ask
is to be happy
to not have to put up with this shit that he does
to put of the shit i put myself through

fin
because i dont know what to do
but i needed to type something