one week

life is all about the limbo between pieces of parchment these days. everyone strives to get a diploma, even if they dont really get educated, and then its a masters document, and then a doctorate, and then after 30 years at a job its another one, and then retirement is another, and then eventually its our obituary, its merely a stream of documents telling us what landmarks we have hit in life.

after you make the realization of what you are and who you are, when you lose it and find it again, it feel like a lost pair of warn in jeans, you can just be comfortable in your life. maybe im just going through a manic state again, but im really okay with it. part of me dislikes that i have realized these parts of my life, but its not soo bad. im ok with the possibility that i have manic tendencies.

5.17.2010

its odd, how we humans effect eachother. so mmuch is spent in taking the time to connect with people that when someone who has never met you and never made a connection with you reaches out and allows you to do everything in your power to go ahead with that original plan. im going to be able to attend classes next fall because of two very kind people that have allowed me into their hearts. and i am so greatful, i just hope that i do indeed show the world the good things like they re hoping i will. today i have been very cynical, and im not sure by, but i feel like people just dont see the good, they are so set on finding the bad and making things worse that they dont realize how good things are. its sad really. so many amazing things to do and they focus on how bad it is, i know im guilty, but i feel like people should just be ok. this is all.

An outlet, almost forgotten

i had all but forgotten the memories and stories i had at one time posted on here. but i needed an outlet, and facebook notes just dont feel right for my thoughts. so what better place then here, what better time then now. so here is to the start of my mind finding an ease of passage back into words that will collect the disarray of my thoughts. maybe you, the reader will find meaning in these monkeys worth of typewriter post that i will leave, or maybe youll glance upon them and find nothing, but this is the only way i know that i can find myself is by freely writing, writing every thought out, so that i can analysis it and find reason in my own twisted way. often there will be no constructive conclusion, or a continuous thought, but that is how it is in here, inside the room that has but no window, only a door, a flood gate, is. i dont proof read most of the time, i dont use ' in most of my words that they are needed for, youll get use to it, im sure. well, this is all for now, im going to read for a bit, and then spend sometime hearing another's words much more valuable at this time then my circular thoughts.