after you make the realization of what you are and who you are, when you lose it and find it again, it feel like a lost pair of warn in jeans, you can just be comfortable in your life. maybe im just going through a manic state again, but im really okay with it. part of me dislikes that i have realized these parts of my life, but its not soo bad. im ok with the possibility that i have manic tendencies.